Sometimes Mindfulness Brings Judgment: Compassion Can Help
We often hear that mindfulness helps us slow down, breathe, and become more present. It’s true—when we practice mindfulness, we’re training ourselves to step out of autopilot and reconnect with what’s happening in the here and now. For many people, that shift brings a sense of calm and clarity.
But for others—especially those who’ve experienced trauma, stress, or deep emotional pain—becoming more aware of the present moment can be surprisingly uncomfortable. In the quiet that mindfulness creates, old feelings may surface. And along with them can come something unexpected: judgment.
You might recognize the voice in your head that says:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I’m being too sensitive.”
“They’re so selfish—why do I even care?”
Sound familiar?
This kind of judgment, whether directed inward or outward, is something we all experience. It’s part of being human. But when we get stuck in judgment, it can pull us away from the very presence and peace we’re trying to cultivate.
Why Does Mindfulness Sometimes Trigger Judgment?
Mindfulness invites us to pay attention. But once we’re paying attention, we might not always like what we see.
Let’s say you’re meditating and suddenly feel a knot of anxiety in your chest. Or you notice a surge of irritation toward someone you love. These moments of awareness can trigger a harsh inner critic—or even shame. We may start judging the experience itself (“I shouldn’t be anxious right now”) or judging ourselves as flawed for feeling that way.
But there’s good news: awareness doesn’t have to end in judgment. In fact, it can be the beginning of healing—if we learn to meet what arises with compassion.
A Simple, Powerful Practice: RAIN
One beautiful practice that can help with this is called RAIN, developed by psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach. It’s an easy-to-remember acronym that gently guides us through difficult emotional moments with curiosity and care.
Here’s how it works:
R – Recognize what’s happening
This is the first step: simply notice what you’re feeling or experiencing. You might pause and say to yourself, “This is anxiety.” or “I’m feeling tightness in my chest.” Naming the emotion helps you create space around it.
Example:
You’re stuck in traffic and suddenly feel overwhelmed. Rather than pushing the feeling down, you pause and say, “Okay, this is frustration.”
A – Allow it to be there
Instead of resisting the feeling or trying to push it away, try letting it be. This doesn’t mean you like it—it just means you’re not fighting it.
Example:
You might say, “It’s okay that I feel this way. This feeling is here right now.” That small gesture of acceptance can be incredibly powerful.
I – Investigate with curiosity
Here, you bring gentle attention to the feeling. Where do you feel it in your body? What thoughts are coming up? What does this part of you need? This is not about fixing or analyzing—just exploring, like a compassionate scientist.
Example:
You notice that behind the frustration is a sense of helplessness. You ask yourself, “What might this part of me be needing right now?”
N – Nurture yourself with kindness
This is the heart of the practice. Offer yourself the kind of care you’d give a close friend or a child in pain. Maybe it’s placing a hand on your heart, saying something kind, or simply breathing gently.
Example:
You say to yourself, “This is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.” You imagine a warm presence holding you in care—like a parent comforting a hurting child.
Why RAIN Works
RAIN doesn’t try to get rid of difficult feelings. Instead, it helps you relate to them differently—with awareness, compassion, and space. Over time, this practice can soften the harsh inner critic and create a new habit of self-care.
It also helps interrupt cycles of reactivity. Rather than snapping at a loved one or turning against yourself, you have a way to pause, feel, and respond with kindness.
An Invitation
The next time you notice a wave of judgment or emotional pain, take a breath. Try walking yourself through the steps of RAIN. It may feel awkward at first, but with practice, it becomes more natural.
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to fix everything.
You just have to show up—with presence, curiosity, and a little bit of love.
Interested in support with mindfulness, compassion practices, or emotional healing?
At Turn the Mind, we work with clients to help them reconnect with themselves, reduce self-judgment, and build inner resilience. If you're curious about therapy or just want to learn more, reach out—we’d love to hear from you.
